.Ever been hurt (or just pissed off)? Of course you have. So what do you do about that? These are four strategies I have been given by people I respect and love:
- The whole walk-a-mile-in-their-shoes thing. Research shows that most people are dwelling in a place of immediate pressure and need. Try to understand their “present.” Can you subtract Self in order to add to Other? Maybe you’re seeing the bigger picture, but maybe they are only seeing the here and now?
- They might need new glasses. Or maybe you do. Similar to number one, but critically different, ask yourself, “Can I find a way to see it from their perspective, or to understand the pressures they are experiencing?” YES, the opposite is likely possible and true (i.e. “Can’t they see MY point of view?”). So who is going to step up? Them? You? Or is this the end of something you once cherished—simply because you couldn’t put on new glasses?
- The whole mountain-out-of-a-molehill thing. We too often obsess about that which doesn’t really matter. Period.
- Forgive. It is likely that they are just plain wrong. So what? And what does that mean? The choice is yours. Resent? Or?
Perhaps the most beautiful part of this human experience is the opportunity not to get caught-up in the trivial, but to rise-up to the meaningful.
4 responses to “4 Options When People Hurt You”
This article is a winner hoping many take the time to read. Hurts and misundersandings will always be part of life they don’t control us rather we respond positively because we know who we are.
“[B]ecause we know who we are.” Sharon, that, for me, is the greatest genius piece of this. Thank you. Self- knowledge and -understanding… I hope to have these tools as I encounter all that life might give me. I have always treasured your wisdom, and I thank you for this additional word.
Although I am seeking an education in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, much of our discussions in class revolve around diagnosis, practice, ethics, and standards. However, at the core of every malady of the soul is a hurt.
I believe that every pain has four components. These are fear, anger, regret, & sorrow. Finding the keys that heal the aspects of pain is a part of healing. As a child, I suffered from trauma. For this reason, I had many years to experience pain and healing.
In childhood, we are all born resilient. We all have joyful characteristics to help us be strong. The journey of reclaiming innocence, passion, contentment, and rapture are not only signs of healing, but of awakening from slumber.
In your blog, you speak to forgiveness, empathy, compassion, and understanding. These are all essential to such an awakening and recovering from hurt.
The Awakening
Innocence softly lies subtly in the soul
Cushioned by security for faith in the unknown
Its hands reach out trustingly
Its eyes are open wide
Its smile welcomes warmly
Incognizant of the things men fear
The fairy tale’s lie
Passion’s determination struggles in the soul
It strikes the rules that keep its hold
Denying not its strength
It fights against oblivion
End its illusive grasp
It lives not by men’s past regrets
For it is do or die
Contentment is the soul at ease
Breathes deeply with a sigh
Its lips a sweet crescent
Giggles when it should cry
It harbors not a bitter grudge
Nor the anger that consume men
Absolution here does hide
Rapture is the soul at play
It joys in those things small
Delights in that which one can hold
And chases dreams that men have told
It finds laughter in the simple
For men sorrow not there
Some place, some time, some where
By Ruthie Inacay
[…] year, I created a similar post about strategies for responding to hurt. See it here, should it be of […]