What am I missing?
What I am I not seeing?
These are questions we must (MUST) ask ourselves in the course of life, especially in a life that is froth with difficulty and struggle: the life of a leader.
I find that even the experts encounter surprise and the unexpected as they pursue what seems like a life that should be motivated by a clear, obvious, purposeful agenda.
And yet—more often than not—the journey of a leader is clouded with pain, with obstacles, and with a sense that the leader is off track.
The trick, I think, is to find the balance between drive and humility.
Between knowing and learning.
Between arrogance and courage.
Between culture and reason.
Between good and evil—and finding the place that informs excellence in practice—instead of a place hidden between the stubborn and the subordinate.
It’s a fine line—to be sure.
I see it in politics.
I see it in church.
I see it in self.
And I do not have the answer.
I do know, though, that when I listen instead of shout—when I stop instead of go—I am more likely to find the elusive answer.
When someone breaks down, I try not to automatically assume that it’s my fault (while it may be). Instead, I try to find a compassionate way to inquire into Other’s need or pain.
I try to ask what might be going on outside of my little world.
And then I try to ask what IS going on inside each of us. It’s a struggle to be honest with Self. To be sacrificial
This is an exercise in fortitude, commitment and humility.
And I often fail.
And still I try.
Again. And again.
One response to “What am I missing?”
Thank you Nathaniel. This was so timely for me. Being a leader is hard. Sometimes we forget to care for ourselves. Sometimes we forget to be merciful to those whom follow us. This is best summarized in the poem the Paradox of Leadership:
The paradoxes of being a “Servant-Leader” poem (p29)
Strong enough to be weak
Successful enough to fail
Busy enough to make time
Wise enough to say “I don’t know”
Serious enough to laugh
Rich enough to be poor
Right enough to say “I’m wrong”
Compassionate enough to discipline
Mature enough to be childlike
Important enough to be last
Planned enough to be spontaneous
Controlled enough to be flexible
Free enough to endure captivity
Knowledgeable enough to ask questions
Loving enough to be angry
Great enough to be anonymous
Responsible enough to play
Assured enough to be rejected
Victdorious enough to lose
Industrious enough to relax
Leading enough to serve
Poem by Brewer — as cited by Hansel, in Holy Sweat, Dallas Texas, Word, 1987. (p29)